The Pressure is ON

Oh yes folks, if you think it’s not, you’re kidding yourself!   But why do we do this to ourselves?  Can’t we all be a little snobby and just stop caring? 

If you tuned into my post, you know my toddler is teething.   This kid only has two teeth at 13 months but damned if I don’t tell you the truth, he is a bear!  The thing is, he’s a little abnormal, we just so happened to make him with a chromosomal defect (go us!). He has a Subglottic Laryngeal Web, (don’t even bother trying to look it up, it is nearly impossible to find). Which in turn, leaves us with a shrill, horrific, terrifying cry.  He literally sounds like he is being murdered!  No, this is not an exaggeration!  Just ask our childcare providers!   It’s a good thing they’re paid or I fear we would not have care!  Now, don’t get me wrong, he has a “normal” cry too.  His normal cry is when he isn’t actually upset about anything.  If he is mad, you screwed up, or he just can’t voice what he wants….you will know his abnormalities are present

The thing is, with all that said, even knowing it is out of my control, I still feel the pressure.  We ALL do!  We think something to ourselves and wonder if it is even worth saying aloud!  Well hell yeah it is, YOU thought it!  Who the heck cares what they think?  You are you.  My older son doesn’t care, nor does he hear his brother’s curdled screams in the middle of the night .  Probably because he sleeps like a rock just like his father!  He’s a champ, helps me out whenever I am losing my mind or just simply need a hand.  Who knew six years apart was this awesome!  Train them while they’re young I tell ya! 

So why is it, that I can’t stop thinking about them.  Who?  Other human beings?  No!  Them is the made up concept in your mind that allows you to feel unconsciously absorbed by the made up thoughts of other human beings.  Did I lose ya there? What I mean, to be put simply, is we over-think on a daily basis just to impress someone else.  Have you woken up and ever thought, Wow!  Today is the day I am going to impress myself

I doubt it!  As I sit here, writing this out to you, I laugh at myself; knowing that I am the most over-sensitive, highly concerned person I know.  Besides my seven year old, whom I happened to bless with an identical, but younger, version of my over-active imagination of what other people think.  I tend to have this thought that everyone is always “looking” at me.  I then analyze why:  is my hair greasy?  Is it because I am overweight?  Did I say something stupid?  Are they tired of hearing about my children?  What?  What did I do wrong?  When in fact they weren’t even “looking” at all.  It was me, all me, and my insecurities; all created by pressure

The pressure to be perfect.  The pressure to exist as an idealized person.  The pressure to be the person I’m not.  So why am I writing a blog?  Why am I writing as though my readers may even care the slightest bit about what I have to say?  Because folks, this blog is for me.  If you happen to enjoy it, absolutely fabulous, but if you don’t,  that’s okay too.  I’m just here, being me, all I ask, is that you be you. 

Take a step forward; do something crazy.  Do something that makes you happy and for goodness sake, don’t give a hoot about what they think!  Don’t mind me, I’m just going to blaring my music from college and dancing like a fool!

Yours truly,

Christine

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